This is my Soul/Funk/Blues band playing live in U Maleho Glena .. which coincidentally is my local!

It’s Prague Marathon day today and the course runs very close to my flat.
So I’ve just been out to watch the early leaders, mostly Africans, not even having broken sweat running faster than I could even when I was 17 and a pretty decent 400m runner.
It’s a gorgeous day here, sunny but with a breeze which will help cool them. I seem to recall last year that there was beer at the drinks stations - I guess it’s what you might expect from a nation that boasts the highest per capita consumption of beer in the world.

There’s a band (well I say band, it’s a guitar player and a drummer and a whole load of sequenced stuff) on the corner who exemplify for me almost everything that’s wrong in rock music. And especially Czech rock music. Talented musos for sure but truly shite material … shredding for it’s own sake … bollocks really. Which fucking tone-deaf Moron booked these clowns?
An old bloke stood opposite was barracking them when he could get an insult in .. I’d have joined in too if I knew enough cuss words.
I hope they won’t be here all day .. What’s Czech for “here’s a thousand crowns each now pack up and fuck off”.

What a month !! .. IF I ever wonder why I’m knackered I should just look over my diary ..

Flew into Prague from London on the 1st … flew out to Zagreb on the 3rd .. got picked up at the airport, straight to the gig for a sound check and faffing around .. hotel .. check in .. 40 mins peace and quiet .. back to the venue .. gawp at fabulously toned tanned and very scantily clad Hungarian lingerie models .. do the gig .. back to the hotel .. try to sleep .. wake up .. breakfast .. down to the lobby only to realise the Hungarian models have been staying in the same hotel … I resisted the temptation to crack wise about not recognising them with their clothes on … bus to the airport after an hours sightseeing … check in amidst very high security as the idiot known as Dubya is in town … fly back to Prague … leave Prague for London on the 6th … flightdelayedfortwoandanhalfhours .. fuck! … Arrive at a very snowy Gatwick Airport … go to Egham for curry buffet with my mate Tim who picked me up, then Wraysbury where I’m staying for a couple of days.
Go to Grahame’s funeral .. more of this later .. fly back to Prague on the 8th .. do 5 gigs in 5 days including 2 with Vera .. both crackers .. then meet my folks at the airport on the 14th .. play dutiful only son (never a prob with my folks cos I love ‘em to bits) .. and tour guide .. and do another 14 gigs in 17 days! Phew

Grahames’ funeral was very well attended .. the chapel doors remained open, and members of the congregation spilled out into the driveway of the Crematorium .. the choir seats in the organ loft were full too. The organ was played by Lindsay Bridgewater .. who is not only a member of the Royal College Of Organists, but also toured with Ozzy Osbourne and Budgie in the early 80s!

Chrissy, Grahame’s widow had asked me to sing at the service, and after a great deal of thought, I chose the Ben E King Lieber/Stoller classic “Stand By Me”. Not only had Grahame and I played this song on numerous occasions, but also because I felt that the narrative of the lyric seemed entirely appropriate.
It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do .. I thought that I would be able to manage my emotions, and for the most part I did right up until about 5 minutes into the service when the occasion started to get to me .. luckily I had an old friend with me to steady my nerves. Thanks Julie xx.
Fittingly, I played an old Aria guitar of Grahame’s.
I brought picks with me in case I was so nervous my fingers didn’t work .. but apart from a moment towards the end of the song when I thought I’d bottle it, I got through it and the conclusion of the song was greeted by very warm and spontaneous applause.

It was an honour for me to say goodbye to one of my best friends in this way .. you are very much missed Whitey .. your gentle spirit and phenomenal talent touched so many lives, and I’m a better person for having met you.

Immediately after the service, almost everyone headed for Addlestone (the town Grahame grew up in) for a celebratory gig and a drink or five.
Many of Grahame’s musical associates played including the great Jackie Lynton (at 68 he can still sing every bit as powerfully as I remember 20 or more years ago) ex Nashville Teen Ray Phillips (a year older than Jack .. and still gigging) his brother in law Julian, Me and two former band members Geoff Hemsley on drums and Simon Callow on keys.
Grahame’s son Paul played drums for much of the evening. Also in attendance were Colin Pattenden (Grahame’s cousin, erstwhile colleague and former bass player with Manfred Mann’s Earth Band) Paul King (from Mungo Jerry and the King-Earle Boogie Band) the fabulous Chris Bryant who looks like a mini-me version of Ronnie Wood only healthier and younger and plays guitar like a demon. Even the first drummer I played with John Hollywood (in Dicky Hart and The Palpitations) .. king Joker .. was there.

The whole day was a very fitting send-off for a very special person .

I think about him daily .. and can hardly believe I’ll never gig with him again.
Lots of love to Paul and Chrissy xx

Grahame White 1949 - 2008

I have just returned from 5 days in England.
Friday night there was a family dinner party to mark my nephew (uber geek and very good musician) Toms’ 21st birthday.
My sis Maggie excelled on the catering front, as usual, couscous and roast beef .. great salad and pud too.
I stayed another day in Lichfield before driving down, in my brother in laws car, to Wraysbury to stay with Chrissy (Grahames widow) for a just over a day then back to Lichfield on Monday night before flying back to Prague on Tuesday.
We talked about the funeral, and reminisced about his life, and I’m very honoured that she has asked me to sing at the service.
Hard to know how I’ll hold up.

I’ve chosen to sing the Ben E King Lieber/Stoller song “Stand By Me”, not just because it’s a song that Grahame and I used to play from time to time but also for the sentiment in the lyric.

Later this morning (it’s 5:50am now .. I can’t sleep) I fly to Zagreb in Croatia to play a corporate gig for Triumph International .. a lingerie company based in Munich .. a welcome distraction from the events of the last week .. then I’m back to London on Sunday for the funeral on Monday. I’m sure I’ll see some of you there.

Grahame Whites’ funeral will be held at Woking Crematorium, Hermitage Road,
St. John’s, Woking Surrey GU21 8TJ on Monday April 7th 2008 at 4pm .. for directions please click the link ..
for a map to the crematorium from central Woking, please click here

following the funeral at approx 5:30 there will be a memorial Musical evening at the
Hare Hill Social Club, Ledger Drive, Addlestone KT15 1AT ~ Telephone 01932 846701
for a local map please click here
I have detailed directions if anyone requires them .. please e-mail me
All are welcome to both events.
The bar will be a pay bar but please be advised they do not take credit cards ..

Grahame White, guitarist and singer, and one of my best friends, an inspiration to me, and a collaborator over the past 27 years, died in hospital last night.

On Monday 17th March he was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer after routine gall-bladder surgery found a tumour on the head of his pancreas.

The doctors said that he may have had the cancer for up to one year.

He was due to start chemotherapy next week and had enrolled in a programme for clinical trials on a new drug.

I first met Grahame when I started out playing in and around the Weybridge area .. by day, he was working in Denny Laines music shop and by night he was playing guitar for Jackie Lynton.

I learned so much from him .. without him ever really consciously teaching me much at all .. the occasional lick here and there .. and the kinds of stuff about strings and cables and amps and tone that only an experienced guitar player would know.

A pro from the age of 16 he is still one of the best guitar players I have ever heard or worked with he sang like a bird too.
I remember seeing him onstage at The Kings Head in Fulham with Jackie .. Ritchie Blackmore was guesting .. trading licks with Grahame .. I recall that Grahame taught Ritchie a lesson or two that night .. he played the guitar solo on my song “The Question Why” .. I asked him .. can you give me a bit of Peter Green?
He strapped on his SG and came up with that great solo.

We played hundreds of gigs together from regular pubs one like our Sunday night residency at The Vansittart Arms in Windsor .. to the Royal Festival Hall opening for Don McLean and the subsequent the live-ish performance on Top Of The Pops.
His playing and singing touched the hearts and spirits of so many people.

I have many fond memories of him and I feel my life has been blessed having had such a good, sweet, stand-up guy as a mate .. I love you Whitey xx
My thoughts are with his widow Chrissy and son Paul right now …

A belated happy New Year to you all.
So where was I .. oh I know .. back in 2007.
I made it home to England for Xmas which was fantastic. A big family occasion .. and we cheated too by having two Xmas days, one on Xmas Eve and the other on the 25th.
The reason for the first one was that it was the one day all the extended family could get together, including my niece Laura, who was visiting from Beijing, and my great niece Ella, who spent most of the time being very cute and wearing her food.

We’re a very close family, despite the miles that separate us, and Xmas has always been a special time.
Food was eaten, drinks were taken, and gifts and stories were swapped.
I spent three days with my family, then drove down to the South-East to visit friends in Cookham, Paley Street, Windsor, Wraysbury and Teddington .. some I hadn’t seen for ages .. including Marcus, best man at my wedding and my former house mate from my days in Chertsey.

I was on the chocolates mince pie and cups of tea diet.
You tend not to hear too much about this one mostly because it crap frankly, and whilst it undoubtedly works, it does so …. in reverse, leaving the dieter lardier and more at risk of type 2 diabetes than before.
Add to that, a great Indian buffet meal at the Bilas Tandoori with the two Ems and David.. and a pint or fourteen at The Lion in Hampton Wick, and needless to say my waistband felt decidedly tighter. I love beer .. reaally love beer especially here in Prague .. but it is the biggest lard accelerant my body knows.

What else .. well my nephew Tom came to visit just before Xmas .. it was great to hang out with him .. we spent a lot of time just chilling .. playing guitar (he’s a talented musician and singer as well as a fiercely bright kid studying Maths and Physics at Cambridge) .. and drinking Bernard dark beer. Tom was looking for me on Facebook and managed to unearth this wonderful surprise .. a fansite dedicated to .. er wait for it … ME!
It’s been a while since my ghast has been more flabbered .. I was over the moon .. what a fantastic thing to have happen … incredible … anyway I should stop the gushing now (it’s not the bloody Oscars FFS).. if you’re on Facebook and you like to join the group, please feel free.

I did a gig in the Sumava region with V?ra just before Xmas ..
Sumava is an area in the South West of the Republic .. and is largely farming and skiing country, it looks a lot like rural Switzerland but without the mountain ranges. The gig was in a brand new community centre at the rear of a pub.
Wonderful people .. totally sold out .. 250 or so locals of all ages .. from Grannies to young kids .. they loved the show, and queued patiently while V?ra and I signed autographs. I sold out of CDs too!

Playing in some villages and small towns in the Republic, I’ve become very aware that when I do autograph signing and chat to the audience after the gig, I am very probably the first English person some of them have ever met or spoken to.
Sure they’ve seen sports stars, musicians and the like on TV, but it’s entirely conceivable that, for them, I’m an almost David Attenbourough-esque oddity .. but this isn’t Papua New Guinea or some remote part of Borneo .. it’s less than 800 miles away from London .. it’s very bizarre.

I was at V?ras for New Years eve too .. the first I’ve spent in Prague. She, her husband Jarda and daughter Anezka live in a very small town called Cernocise about 10 miles to the south of Prague . I took the train .. my guitar ..and a bottle of Champagne.
Food was eaten .. wine was drunk .. ( much like at my Xmas in England) songs were sung and the New Year was ushered in with fireworks … hundreds of fireworks .. for when we’d finished admiring ours, we were able, because V?ra lives high on a hill, to observe what seemed like 30 or 40 separate displays. The sky was lit up in ablaze with colours and flashes .. truly magical.

I love fireworks, always have done, and remember especially fondly the Bastille Day Celebrations Keith Floyd used to have at his pub “Floyds Inn” in Tuckenhay Devon. There would be the most spectacular show I’ve ever seen in a local pub (ever the showman, Floydie doesn’t do things by halves) .. and generally I’d be playing in the bar .. or one year on the balcony over looking the creek with a five piece band.
On the subject of Floyd .. whilst I was in England recently I read with sadness a magazine article about him and his life now .. he’s just separated from his wife Tess (I think she was his 4th) he’s living in a room above a pub somewhere near Faringdon in Oxfordshire …

I was in England at the end of January for a wedding. My old mate Steve Simpson
got married to the lovely Zoe .. and the reception was at an Hotel in Cobham Surrey. Needles to say many of Steves’ muso mates were invited and the “wedding band” was just brilliant .. I gave my renditions of the old Ike Turner song”I think it’s gonna work out fine” and was joined on vocals by my mate Dan England for a storming version of “Wooly Bully”

The band at the point was Me Steve on electric guitar, Sam Kelly on drums,(voted British Blues Connection “Drummer of the Year” for five years running.) Gary Twigg (Kiki Dee, Roger Chapman, Kim Wilde) on bass, session meister Ian Gibbons
(keyboard player in The Kinks for 10 years) on cheesy organ and Dan on Electric guitar and two verses of Wooly Bully ..

Other guests included Roger Chapman (from Family) who didn’t sing.. John Lingwood (ex Manfred Manns Earth Band).. Poli Palmer flautist and vibraphone player (Family and many others)..Pete Stroud (Peter Green Splinter Group) and very possibly my favourite Kiwi.. Ian Hunt .. I knew he was a great singer .. I had NO idea he could play guitar like that .. Papa George …great blueser diamond geezer and Steves’ best man … Alun Davies from the Good Men In The Jungle .. and for many years Cat Stevens guitarist … suffice to say there were a number of venues in London missing great musicians that night .

“Anthony James Marshall you stand before me accused of being a terrible namedropper … how do you plead”? … oh … er …guilty as hell m’lud

Hiya and welcome, Another month flies by .. and I’m STILL playing catch-up.
Lots to tell you though.
My sisters came for a short visit .. which was wonderful.
They have both been to Prague before, but not together, and only one of them since I have been living here. It was great to share some time with them both.

I’m the middle child in our family.
My elder sister is a Mum (and a Gran) and a biologist, and my younger sis a Mum (and very recently a Gran) and a psychologist. And I’m … well .. in the middle single, (sort of .. not legally you understand) and doing heaven knows what!
We decided not to do real touristy things but instead opted for a few decent meals
and lazy walks around the city.

Breakfast at Cafe Savoy is always good, so much so we did it the two mornings that they were here. It’s also only a minute walk from my flat which is even better.

I opted for the French breakfast, (baguette, French toast with maple syrup, grilled merguez sausage with French fries, Prague ham, boiled egg, French blue cheese, butter, home made jam, croissant, grapes, fresh orange juice, café au lait) big enough to set you up for most of the day.

The ceiling in Cafe Savoy is wonderfully ornate. Beautifully painted and gilded, plaster work. During the communist era I’ve heard it said that it was boarded over because it was deemed too decadent and bourgeois. The old gas chandeliers are still in place, but have been modified, these days light bulbs are used to illuminate the Cafe.

I took my sisters on a boat trip on the river .. that was the closest thing to being tourists that we did. I have friends who work for a boat company so we had our own small vessel all to ourselves .. the weather was fine and warm and the trip really special .. thanks Lenka xx.

The weather was wonderful, sunny and warm, and later that day we visited the Vrbotska gardens situated almost next to my favourite bar and local U Maleho Glena. The gardens are a true oasis in the city. Italian in style and beautifully kept they are a UNESCO funded heritage site.
I tried without success to find a website for Vrbotska gardens .. if you come to Prague do try and visit this tranquil oasis.
My only gripe about their visit is that it wasn’t long enough.

Gig wise I was mega busy too.
I played the biggest festival since I arrived here, in the small South Bohemian village of Hostice. It’s an annual festival to celebrate the life and work of the most famous Czech country singer Michal Tucny (literally Michael Fat) .. Věra recorded a number of duets with him.
I was amazed by the number of people in attendance .. there can only be 200 or so houses in the village, but there were 8,000 fans at the festival!
It reminded me a little of “Cropredy”, the Fairports annual bash where the Fairport faithful descend on a small Oxfordshire village .. but with klobasy (Czech sausage .. actual ingredients somewhat indeterminable) Pilsner Urquell and Slivovice.

A massive stage in a huge field, plasma screens, amazing PA and lights, and people as far as you could see. People huddled together in sleeping bags, families, adolescent lovers and guys who looked like extras from “Deadwood”.
I even bought a cowboy hat myself to wear on stage a la Alan Jackson or Garth Brooks. Looked pretty damn sharp too.

The festival is a two day affair on Friday and Saturday.
We played on Saturday. The day was split into two halves, and our performance was the last of the first set. We were very well received. V?ras work with Michal is very special to his fans.
The second half comprises of an “All Star” band and different singers all covering a Michal Tucny recording. I chose to do “Je Mi Lito” (I’m sorry) which was his
re-write of Elvis Presley’s “Heartbreak Hotel” …. just me and my wonderful Lowden guitar .. oh and my Washburn analogue delay, set to slapback.

There I was … right at the front of the stage .. my toes edging into the early evening twilight .. I look out directly into the follow spot and begin ……

da da da da da daaaa da - da da da da da daaaa ……
(great guitar lick Scotty Moore)
…. then I pause …

Well since mah baybee lef me …. ah foun a new place ter dwell
it’s down at the en a Lonely Street ….. ha ha heartbreak Hotel
oh Je Mi Lito baybee, oh Je Mi Lito
Ah feel so lonely I could die ….

They loved it, as much as I did working them … I sang the Heartbreak Hotel verse and the Je Mi Lito chorus .. and absolutely reveled in the whole 4 minutes .. this is why I do this I reminded myself.
After the concert we (V?ra, Lenka and I) went to visit Michal’s grave in the village cemetery .. it was more like a shrine.
Fans had lit dozens of candles many of them tealights in votives and placed beer bottles on the grave too .. which sounds naff, but I thought that it was a very human gesture.

It’s mostly been gig crazy these past few months.
In one period in October I managed to do 10 in 11 days, three of them with V?ra which were a very mixed bag.
The first was in the town of Policka .. it was our first big theatre gig as a trio with Jarda (V?ras husband) doing the sound. V?ra is a nervous performer .. quite why I’m not sure .. she has talent, loads of experience, and the respect of tens of thousands of loyal fans.
It had been about three weeks since we played together and her pre-gig nerves showed. The gig itself was great .. for all her nervousness, she’s very natural with an audience and the theatres are just the right to foster a bit of banter between her and the audience.

We stayed overnight in Policka, at the Hotel Pivovar (pivovar is the Czech word for brewery) .. Policka still has a town brewery … and the beer sells for a whopping 13kc a half litre in the Hotel bar.

That’s about 31p (or 65 US Cents .. depending how quickly I finish this for really good, fresh beer.
In truth the Hotel was a bit of a shithole .. not because it was dirty, but because everywhere and everything smelled either of damp or cooking oil ..or both.
Everything including the guest towels in the room .. not nice.
I always look forward to my post gig shower followed by chip fat rub down ..

We didn’t eat in the Hotel restaurant that evening .. partly because of the cooking smell, and partly because of the smoky atmosphere … Both V?ra and Lenka are recently reformed smokers and notice all too readily what I have been pointing out to them for ages. I read a survey recently that said 57% of Czech people are in favour of a smoking ban in public places .. the reality is that hell may freeze over first.

Instead we opted for plates of cold meats and cheese sent to V?ra’s room.
Another bargain 80kc (£2 … or $10 .. only kidding American readers) for a plate of food so big I couldn’t finish all of mine. People who known what a keen appetite I have will probably be astonished but it’s true.

From Policka we travelled to T?ebí? an historic town we played last year with the band, and one where V?ra has a very good following.

There are a number of UNESCO protected buildings here including a restored Jewish Quarter and the Basilica of St Procopius which dates from the 11th Century. Architecturally stunning as it is, there’s a lot more to the Czech Republic than Prague and T?ebí? is but one example of this.

I have been very privileged to play in some amazing venues. Like the town square in Cesky Krumlov and umpteen chateaux and castles .. the one at Frydlant near Liberec was another movie set location .. beautifully preserved, it’s just such a pity we took an age to get there because of the Prague friday night grid-lock and could only see it in the fading twilight.

Click the links to see some of the sights.

We arrived in Trebic in the early afternoon because V?ra and Lenka were playing a charity show for handicapped kids in the local civic centre.
Our show time was 7:30 to a packed house … not 1seat free.
The gig was fabulous, the audience very warm and welcoming, and generous with their applause. Another vivid reminder of why I wanted to be a performer in the first place, and leave behind me the life of a cog in a corporate wheel.
We ran out of encores … back to Prague that evening and out again to Votice the following day.

And back to earth with a bang.
First of all Lenka and I who had travelled to the gig together couldn’t find the venue, then, when we did our faces fell .. and fell .. and fell still further “this can’t be it surely” I thought. “What … a …fucking …. dump” .. I thought a nanosecond later.

Let me attempt to describe the place.
Kharzi and toilet are apt descriptions but not nearly detailed enough.

Our gig took place in the town “club” which was in two parts.
The front part is a horribly smoke filled bar the ceiling of which is brown from years of people abusing their lungs, and a bookies, and the rear part is a cinema which doubles as a concert hall and indoor five a side pitch. No joke about the last bit .. there was a definite green nylon turf with white pitch markings.

The stage was about 4 feet from front to back, and on two levels, so the mic stands were perched on one step, and we were on the other, with barely enough room to swing a gnat let alone perform.
Then there was the smell .. a delightful combination of cigarettes, body odour and damp .. we could open the door .. I thought .. but it’s bloody freezing a voice in my head nagged … tough choice .. I put my coat back on and flung the doors open.

Got the gear in .. set it up .. did the sound check .. dressing room .. now where’s the dressing room … I pondered.

The “dressing room” was in the bookies/bar part of the building .. and it was someone else bedroom ..well two rooms in fact, one with a bed and TV .. the other with a desk and mountains of stuff stacked up against a wall .. mostly ice hockey related … later that evening when we were reflecting on the nature of our evening and laughing I pointed out to V?ra that this was someone’s life .. day after dreadful day. I’m so glad it was only a small part of mine.

But every cloud really does have a silver lining, the gig was brill .. the audience who were so welcoming, and loved us from the word go. V?ra was presented with 6 bouquets of flowers throughout the course of the show by members of the public .. I on the other hand stood around empty handed .. like a fat bloke at a swingers party .. but in the bar after the gig was bought not one, but 5 very large Slivovices.
I distinctly remember my tongue not working very well, talking utter bollocks in the car on the way home, and waking with a monumental hangover.

We also did another live one hour show on Country Radio.
I abandoned the idea of a limo there, and instead caught the tram and walked the 400 or so yards to the station from the tram stop. Rock and Roll eh .. what a crazylife I lead! Drug fuelled parties .. porno grade sex with supermodels ..and taking the tram to the Radio Station.

The studio we used this time was even smaller than the one we had previously .. so our working at close quarters experience gained on stage in Votice stood us in good stead.

Before we occupied the studio there was a bloke (no idea who) being interviewed for some programme or other.
My gaze was fixed on his hair … I broke down laughing .. what does he think he looks like? He was about my age, maybe 4 or 5 years older, tops.. .his hair was white .. not grey, … or silver, …. or saltandpepper .. WHITE.
The nylon wig that was perched on top of his head like some mutant cowpat, was jet black .. not a fleck of any other colour .. jet … black as if he was trying somehow to recreate the ying/yang symbol atop his bonce.
Instead he looked like a sad old git, overly conscious of the fact that he didn’t quite have the same head of hair he did 20 years ago. The wig and the total contrast in colours just drew attention to the fact that he was obviously bald

I said to the presenter, himself a slaphead but young and with very close cropped hair, .. does he get up in the morning .. put on “Wiggy” the wig, look in the mirror and think that he resembles Robert Redford? V?ra was convulsed with laughter.
As we stood around the water cooler outside the studio trying to suppress our sniggering .. he strode purposefully out …

Only then did I see the wig in all its glory.
And for the first time I noticed …. he had a pony tail … yep .. scouts honour .. a white haired pony tail … tied up with a red rubber band. I sooo wanted to have a photo taken with him so I could post it here but alas he was in too much of a hurry to oblige. Also he might have twigged I was taking the piss if I’d asked him for a shot of him in profile too!!

The show went well …despite the cramped conditions. We managed to fit in 8 songs plus some chat and a phone-in. We said our goodbyes, and I headed off into the night towards the tram stop still giggling about Wiggy.

It’s festival time here.
In July I played three festivals with V?ra and Lenka one in the Czech Republic and two in Slovakia. There are outdoor cinemas in parks all over the Czech and Slovak Republic and these very often serve as festival venues.

The Czech festival was in Františkovy Lázne a spa town in the North-West of the country close to the German border. West-Fest is a folk, country and bluegrass festival spread over a weekend.

To date it’s the best organised festival I’ve played in the Czech Republic.
Warm water AND a shower in the dressing room .. great PA and monitors … even a decent light show, and a back stage bar and decent catering too!
The audience were great ..very welcoming and enthusiastic .. all in all a wonderful occasion.

Slovakia is a bit of a trek by road.
The trip to Turzovka, the location of our first festival gig, took about 8 hours including stops … knackering .. and I wasn’t even driving.
Motorway sandwiches .. (yuck mostly) .. gallons of water and diet cola .. Czech drivers .. who are by and large absolute nutters .. aggressive, ill-tempered, inconsiderate .. wannabe speed freaks.

The road connecting Prague to Brno, the main highway running West to East in the Republic, (and by default one of the most used routes to Slovakia) is almost always affected by an accident or two. Luckily for us we weren’t hampered too much by this and were only held up for about 35 minutes while the firemen cleared up YET another RTA.

In a surreal totally non-rock and roll interlude, we ended up in Tescos (yep .. they get EVERYWHERE) car park in Turzovka eating pre-gig, unsure of what the festival catering facilities would be like.

The gig was fantastic. V?ra is very popular in Slovakia and there were at least 1000 people in attendance. Slovakian audiences are animated and passionate in a way that Czechs aren’t. They’re also very black and white .. if they like you they really like you, and if they don’t, as Czech singer and first ” TV pop Idol” winner Aneta Langerova found out recently, they will not shrink from letting you know.
Again great PA fantastic monitor sound. Oh … and GREAT catering.

We stayed overnight, in a Pension, which had a trout hatchery (?) and drove back the following afternoon in time for my regular Sunday night gig in Prague.

The following week, we made the return journey to Slovakia, only this time it was a longer and more time consuming trip. So much so, that we travelled there the day before.
From the time I left my flat, until check-in at the Hotel Smrek (couldn’t resist calling it the Hotel Shrek) in Liptovský Hrádok, eleven pretty dull hours of my life had passed.
The Hotel was, to put it bluntly, a bit of a shit hole .. but I was so tired that I fell asleep almost the moment my head touched the pillow .. and slept very soundly for 7 hours.
During the course of our journey, V?ra had mentioned that she wanted to visit a lake in the Slovakian Mountains in the afternoon before our show .. so off we drove North in the direction of the High Tatra mountains and the town of Poprad.
From the road the heavily wooded mountains looked very impressive .. Lenka and V?ra, both country girls, were enraptured.

At the lake we were going to walk around .. gorgeous location ..and from the lake shore we could see a 90 metre ski jump hill.
You know the kind of thing I mean .. Eddie The Eagle (nutter AND from Swindon) was famous for jumping off them and coming last in competition ..failing heroically in that way that only English people can be lionised for.

Whilst we walking round the lake I spotted a sign saying the ski jump was open.
“I’d really like to go up there” says I .. “it’s not so far away” … so off we headed up a stony mountain path in the direction of the ski jump.
Naturally it was further than any of us thought and when we reached it about 20 minutes later, looking up it was enormous .. almost intimidating .. and there were people bungee jumping off it .. !!!

Thankfully, a lift took us up most of the way and we only had to climb about 8 flights of stairs. We could feel the structure sway in the strong breeze, there were no windows in the stairwell, and the metal steps clanked and reverberated as we climbed them. At the top the view was amazing.

But what first caught my eye was a guy stood outside the tower on a very rickety parapet (a bit of 4 x 2) .. about to jump .. 3..2..1.. BUNGEE … and he fell like a very big stone, with a ponytail into the blue below.

There’s a part of me that thinks I’d like to have a crack at bungee jumping, doubtless some residual macho crap, but truth be told, it scares the life out of me.

And I can handle being called a wuss if it means I don’t have to plummet head first at terminal velocity tied to bits of elastic .. however strong they might be.

Frankly .. it’s not just the jumping, it’s the swinging upside down for what seems an age while they “recover” you that puts me off. … that and the fact that incontinence pants technology has not yet evolved to the stage where the things are completely leak proof.

As if that wasn’t enough thrill seeking for one day, I tried two more things I’ve never done in my life before.

Karpathian Brandy (very average and NOT a patch on it’s Georgian counterpart) and riding on a chair lift. I bought the Karpathian Brandy purely on “when in Rome” basis … the guy who sold me it must have been pissing himself.
80 Slovakian crowns for a nip .. later that day in a local Supermarket I saw it on sale for 199Skc for a 70 ml bottle. ” well … I got me overheads .. and I got to transport it here” doesn’t cut it Buster. It wasn’t even that nice.

The chair lift was both scary and a real buzz at the same time.
Had it not been for the fact that V?ra and Lenka were with me, I might not have even climbed aboard .. yeah ok .. double wuss.

The thumbnail with my feet in it helps to put the height / distance into context.
It was so quiet apart from the onrush of the wind and the view was breathtaking.
The chairlift took us up nearly 2000m above sea level .. where there was a pub and restaurant … Pilsner Urquell at 5000ft!

For some reason, the return journey was a good deal more hairy.
The mountain appeared to fall away really quickly, and looking down it must have been at least 200 ft to the trees below.

I took all the pics using my Nokia 6280 phone and even took a video of the return journey ( to be honest the vid was a tad boring but at least gave me some idea of the scale of things) .I was tightly holding on to my phone hoping it wouldn’t slip my grasp and end up lost forever in the undergrowth below.

On the way back we stopped by this crystal clear stream and picked wild raspberries from bushes on the riverbank.

The gig that evening was great .. 2000 people there … and they were a very enthusiastic bunch despite having to endure not only a heavy downpour, but one of the worst bands I have ever heard.
I’m ALL for encouraging local talent, especially young female talent (I mean musically) but if you’re going to let them play in public, at least have some ability threshold for them.
Cute-ish as they were, (well one of them was.. out of four) they were so duff they couldn’t even sing in unison! Horrible drummer .. totally incapable of playing in time bashing a Chad Valley style kids electronic kit and no two instruments in tune with one another.

Torture.
The sort of stuff that should get you life in prison, with no chance of parole
and where being forced to listen 24/7 to Celine Dion records is a condition of being incarcerated.

Homer Simpson moment .. on the subject of encouraging young local female talent,sadly, I missed the” Miss Wet T-shirt” contest in a local nightclub (which looked to be as big a shithole as the Hotel we were staying in) .. by a couple of days. How crap culture travels!!

Back to the Hotel Shrek for a post gig drink or two in the atmosphere free bar, and up early the following morning for the schlep back to Prague so I can do my regular Sunday night gig at Fatboys.

Two gigs the following weekend with “What The Funk” at U Maleho Glena .. absolutely mobbed, and such great fun being so close to the audience.
I’m sure I’ve mentioned UMG before .. apart from being my second home, the bar also boast the smallest decent live venue in Prague.
So small in fact, that I ensure I clip my nasal hair for fear of embarrassment.

We recorded 5 songs the day after the gigs too .. we’re putting together a CD and video package for promotion. Studio was great really big room lots of good outboard gear and old mics including a Neumann M7.. session was easy 5 songs in 6 hours .. these guys can play like demons AND read “flyshit” to use a popular muso expression.

There’s just a bit of tarting up and mixing to do, and we should have something we can use as a calling card.
Incidentally, we recorded new versions of “The Question Why”, “Vagabond Heart” and “Which Side Of The Line” using bass, drums, keys, sax (soprano on VH and QY) and me.

So that’s July taken care of .. except to say that it was my birthday on the 8th and I had a small gathering in UMG. Mostly expat friends.
Twenty or so people turned up, and towards the end of the evening I spectacularly disgraced myself by displaying total ineptitude in the face of a flaming B52 coctail (as they spell it here).
Being clueless about such “nancy boy” drinks, I proceeded to not only melt the plastic straw, but also set the furniture alight having been told by someone to blow the absinthe out .. I blew it out .. out of the glass and on to the table.
Thanks Jay .. I’m a beer drinker .. what do I know!!

We returned once more to Slovakia. This time to the town of Terchová and the very popular and long established Rozmarin festival. Again a long drive .. though this time no overnight stay, because the poxy organisers wouldn’t agree to it.
So another 8 hour haul and we arrive tired at the Hotel looking forward to an hours chill time before the show. The guy operating the fun fair directly across from our Hotel had other ideas.

DOOF DOOF DOOF DOOF went the bass drum tiss-ah tiss-ah tiss-ah tiss-ah went the hi-hat … I was in Ghost train ride Eurodisco hell.
It was so loud he may as well have set the gear up in my Hotel room .. which incidentally had double glazing for all the good it was.
My bones shook, my diaphragm vibrated .. it was like being in the front row of a Jam gig in the late 70s. To this date still the loudest band I’ve seen.

I shamble down to the front desk ..
“sorry Sir there are no other rooms available”
“OK .. what time does this noise finish?”
“By 10 pm”
“And IF it doesn’t you’ll find me another room?”
“Promise?”
“Yes Sir I promise”

We arrive at the festival site and it’s busy and very impressive .. CCTV screens for the punters, a small private army of security guards, stage-hands that were willing to work. The act on before us included Vlasta Redl and Slavek Janousek .. two people with whom I played my first ever gig in the Czech Republic with eleven years ago.
In fact it was Slavek who on seeing me play in a pub in West London (the Frigate and Firkin from memory) invited me to join him at some music Festivals. Seems ages away.

There is so little changeover time between acts in festivals here .. 10 minutes is what we got .. to set up the equipment .. in my case amp, pedal board, mic and sound check and change from scruffs into stage clothes.
And the previous act has to pack up and leave the stage too.
Drives me nuts. I hate rushing this .. and then you go straight into gig mode.
Very tough. And so easy to make a small mistake. I’m slowly winning V?ra over to the idea of taking the time we need, and not the time they want to give us.

The gig itself was weird .. a really crap monitor mix .. which kept changing .. continually my guitar feeding back in V?ras’ monitors .. somehow despite the small militia of security guards, a drunk managed to clamber on stage and stand directly next to V?ra in that way that drunks do .. singing off key and looking a tad over amorous.Eventually they arrived and bundled him off stage.

I saw Vlasta the following morning, he remarked that security were very much in evidence when it came to kicking the artists out of the back stage bar at midnight.

The final straw was my amp dying on me right before our encore.
The show had been very well received despite all the crap we went through, and we were pumped up ready to do the first encore but my amp had other ideas.

I was about to launch into the guitar lick for “I’m Not Waiting” and was greeted by total silence, followed very swiftly by panic .. shit .. bugger .. what’s the fuck is wrong .. I re-plugged cables .. switched things on and off once, twice, three times and still nothing .. balloon burst in front of 2000 people .. great … I’m now looking to replace the amp.
I can’t be taking chances like this. The worst part is that all was fine until the last moment.
V?ra finished the show with a folk ballad .. I finished it cursing offstage.

Back at the Hotel, mercifully the disco equivalent of the bombing of Dresden had finished .. calm had descended .. I had a shower and headed for the bar ..

The mystery of the US State Dept logging into my web site has been solved.

I am doing a charity gig for handicapped kids in the grounds of the US Embassy in Prague on Thursday of this week (7 gigs in 6 days!!) and people from the Embassy
have been checking my biog etc .. so they know what to expect.

A nice man from the Embassy called me and explained everything. The computers in the US Embassy in Prague (and elsewhere I imagine) are routed through a central State Dept computer Washington D.C. .. it makes perfect sense when you know. Thanks for calling David.

Bin men in the street today at 3:43 am .. I was still up tinkering with my new
Zen VisionM multimedia player .. my old Creative Zen touch, the one that Ii bought in Atlanta airport for $200 when there were $2 to the £ decided to stop scrolling .. not much use when that’s the only way to navigate around the thing. Bugger.
Still .. I didn’t lose the files .. I have been loading them on to my new machine for the last 5 hrs.